Legal Brief for August, 2010

Quoteable Quotes

Many court cases are resolved at the conclusion of their trial by the judge rendering a verdict "from the bench" as it were, with the judge giving a decision and a summary of their reasons for doing so in open court as soon as the case is concluded.  Cases that are complex or have a number of documents involved often result however in the judge "reserving" his or her decision, and then issuing a written judgment some time afterwards.  Most of these judgments are written in a factual, sober style.  Occasionally however the circumstances of the case may cause the judge to provide a humourous comment on the proceedings, especially if a party to the lawsuit, or a party's lawyer, has been guilty of some misdeed or misstep in their presentation of the case.

A long serving judicial official in Alberta, Master Michael Funduk, was renowned in Canadian legal circles for his bluntly worded observations on the follies that sometimes came before him in his courtroom.  Here are a few excerpts from actual written decisions issued by Master Funduk:

"The defendant says that he has seven defences.  Each is worth nothing.  Seven times nothing is still nothing."

On the claim by one party that he couldn't understand what the other person was saying:

"The plaintiff says that he had difficulty understanding N because N allegedly had an accent.  The contract is in English.  The contract does not have an accent.  Condition 14 is in English.  It does not have an accent.  People have accents.  The English language does not."

On the work done by a litigant who was representing himself in court:

"If Mr. Powell was to himself remove his inflamed appendicle he can do so but he will botch the job.  If he wants to drill and fill his aching tooth he can do so but he will botch the job.  If he wants to act for himself in this lawsuit he can do so but he will botch the job.  He has."

On the errors in a lawyer's documents presented to the court on behalf of his client:

"It is not often that a counsel's submissions are entirely detached from his client's pleading."

On the abilities of lawyers working for corporations (known in legal circles as "in house" lawyers):

"An in-house lawyer is just as competent as an out-house lawyer."

Master Funduk served as a Master of the Court of Queen's Bench of Alberta from 1980 to 2003.  In that time he issued 3,519 written decisions, which must stand as some kind of judicial record in Canada.